Tuesday 12/6 ... Documenting the day.

I really don't like complaining.. but this blog was for documenting my experience so here we go.. (I apologize ahead of time).

Today I feel much more lethargic, I feel like I can't move. I ran out of breath getting dressed, caught it, ran out of breath getting Kobe ready to go outside, caught it.. and thus seems the pattern of the day. I'm getting so annoyed and frustrated with myself today. I keep forgetting my thoughts, I have to keep that consistent inner-monologue or I forget what I am doing.... like now. I have this visual of Wile. E Coyote from Looney Tunes places an ACME weight on my shoulders and every move I make it's making it incredible hard. I want to fall asleep while writing this but I don't want to forget to get this down. My chest is tight, sharp pains as usual, trying to stay positive but feeling pretty down today. I feel bad that Greg is basically going through this too because I am so useless. I'm having thoughts like "why doesn't he just leave me", "hes going to leave me", "who would ever want to be with something like me?", "every one should just leave me be because I'm useless". Obviously not my normal thought process. I keep trying to tell myself it's just poison in my body and once I get it out I'll be back to normal.

Been taking the aloe, chelation (sp?), fish oil (omega 3's), vitamin d, b12, calcium and emergenC's when I remember. I felt a little better yesterday except the pain but today I am telling myself is just the "getting worse before it gets better day".

Going to call Kaiser - not much hope there but figure it's best to keep documenting there too.

Thank you for all the support, prayers & love. I really appreciate it. It keeps me going through the day :)

Sorry for the negative tone in which I have been writing, I hope it passes soon. I figure I might as well blog honest otherwise what's the point of this?

Sharp Pains in Legs & Hiccups?

Last 3-4 days mostly at night I get sharp pains in my legs - last night it felt like there was this super sharp pain going from my right ovary into my hip and down my thigh. It was super sharp and a norco didn't do anything. I took some "PM Cold" medicine just to knock me out because I couldn't stand the pain anymore. My hips constantly hurt and my knees.

Last 3 days (that I can remember) I've had really painful sudden intense hiccups that last maybe 20-30 minutes and then finally leave. They're not like normal hiccups - the make me loose my breath sometimes.

Walking better but not 100%... I'm just so tired of being so tired. Going to call docs again tomorrow.

Just a quick update. I hate complaining but guess it's good to document everything.

People have been telling me there is NO FACTS - Here you go... by a Doctor

This is a DOCTORS site, not some random person, not a victim - A Doctor! 

To watch the video: http://drclark.typepad.com/dr_david_clark/2010/04/gardasil-hpv-vaccine-side-effects-story.html

"You want to talk about evidence-based medicine?  This is evidenced-based medicine....and the evidence says that this medicine stinks."

Or here is the text:

"And I don’t have to do any creative thinking because there was a study published in The Journal of Child Neurology this year in which a 16 year old girl who was previously healthy came to the Emergency Room after she had loss of vision. Sadly, she was injured by the HPV Vaccine.

The article reveals how a vaccine can devastate your body. 

Now am I telling you you shouldn’t get a vaccine?  No, because that would be practicing medicine.  I’m not telling you that.  I’m telling you you need to think about this issue as if it were a life and death choice.

This article is one of many that’s starting to fill up the research literature of people and women that are having demyelinating or autoimmune symptoms or other catastrophic symptoms after they get this HPV vaccine. 

If you’re reading this because your child has had this vaccination and is now suffering symptoms, you better find someone very quickly who can help you...someone who understands what’s going on, understands the physiology.

And the physiology is...

Vaccines are designed to do one thing---stimulate your immune system.  

This stimulation can be push a person over the edge, and cause a catastrophic autoimmune attack on the body, brain and nervous system.

There’s a lot of girls of all ages who are the walking wounded...the walking dead...all from this vaccine. 

It makes me very, very angry that this  is  crammed down people’s throats and the public doesn't think about it. 

And I don’t want to see any comments like, “Well, this is a rare reaction.”  No, it’s not.  It’s not a rare reaction.  It’s a very common reaction.  There are thousands of women and girls, that are suffering. This vaccine has bombarded their immune system and now they have to endure a lifetime of side effects

See, autoimmune conditions are like a light switch being flipped on.  You can’t just turn them off. That’s why my practice is full of people like this who can’t go anywhere else because no one else knows what to do with them. 

So I guess to get off my soapbox today, if you want to read this study it’s in The Journal of Child Neurology of this year and you can read it for yourself.

That’s what a lot of people don’t realize---this stuff that I’m telling you I didn’t make this up.  I didn’t like, you know, get it from some crazy unsubstantiated, un-peer reviewed site.  This is science. 

You want to talk about evidence-based medicine? 
This is evidenced-based medicine....and the evidence says that this medicine stinks."

Documenting my progress thus far...

Monday: Felt great Monday morning, knew I had a lot to do - wanted to come home and work on my resume a bit more, had some jobs bookmarked to apply too and excited to work more on my RA Optics designs. I got the shot about 12-1ish. Came home fatigued & nauseous and slept from about 6pm-11am the next day.

Tuesday: I was in and out of sleep all day with a pains in my chest, lungs felt tight and I had a hard time breathing, I realized I couldn't walk right and kept falling over, I was dizzy and my vision kept going blurry & regular. Couldn't eat all day. I didn't even feel safe taking Kobe out. Later in the day I was having a hard time making words & sentences - I felt like I couldn't keep thoughts together. The pain was getting worse and worse to where I felt crippled by it. Greg took me to the ER  (see previous post for more details about ER) - we were there 8.5 hours. I don't remember much.

Wednesday: Sleep & more sleep. Feels like I just can't move or get out of bed. Still can't walk right, pain all over, persistent headache. Tightness is chest is better but still can't take deep breaths. Probably from the pain but feeling down & depressed.

Thursday: Much of the same. Lethargic, don't want to move, just want to sleep, in pain, sitting hurts, I can't stand for long because of the dizziness, no appetite -Greg brought me Pho and I had a few bites. Started to realize my hair is falling out - not just the normal shed, large clumps. I finally took my first shower since Monday and shocked to see how much hair was left in the drain. As much as I just want to sleep the pain makes it hard to sleep. I wake up in the middle of the night with sharp chest pains. Put a message in to the doctor that gave me the shot Rosa Horowitz, she calls me, says no one has ever had this reaction and I need to see my primary care doctor. Make an appointment for tomorrow.

Friday: Sleep, can't move, pain feels a little worst than yesterday, not falling over anymore but can't walk more than a few steps without getting dizzy, no appetite, when walking to car for the doctors appointment I realize my vision is getting blurry. I just feel weak all over - I realize when talking to mom I can't hold the phone up for a long period of time without my arm aching. I'm irritable, angry, and everything is annoying me without reason. I had a doctor appointment at 2:20 - Greg drove me. Dr. Shaw says she needs a minute to do some research and leaves for about 20 minutes. Comes back said she went on the CDC website and others and sees no correlation between the shot & my symptoms, or mostly that nothing has been proven with the claims that have been made - when Greg tells her everything we have found online researching. She also asked 3 other OB/GYN's in office and they said no one has ever had these symptoms. Says "there is nothing to take away the shot, and doesn't know why this is happening, all she can do is make me comfortable". Greg has to be the one to ask "well if this persists should we come back in?", and she said yes. I like my doctor a lot she listens well and I saw her take good notes about all of this... but here I am again, no answers, no relief. I went to bed at 6pm work up at 11pm with pain in my left leg - it literally felt like someone was cutting into my leg with a burning hot knife or someone was pulling veins out of my leg. Greg got me a hot towel and we used a scarf as a tourniquet as I couldn't bare the pain. I had to take a norco so I could get back to sleep.

Saturday: Woke up about 11:00 (let me mention before this I was waking up about the same time as Greg in the morning 6:30-7:00am), got up for a little bit to take my vitamins mom & edwin sent (aloe, formula 1, vitamin D and omega 3's) and felt the need to lie back down. Mom called, then dad called - had a hard time concentrating on what they're saying. Feeling really lonely and lost today. Greg made me eggs and turkey bacon so I could take half a norco. First "meal" I've had since Monday.

Do NOT Get the HPV Vaccine & This is Why. Please read & share. I can't believe something so dangerous is touted as a miracle

Copied from my original facebook note:

Where to start… I wasn’t going to do this but my mom said it would be a good idea and possibly save others from what I’ve just gone through, and what I am still going through.

It was my annual “lady appointment”, had a great doc, very sweet old lady. She asked if I wanted the HPV Vaccine,  gave me a little run down of what it was, I had heard about it from the commercials and others talking about it. She said “You’re 24 so I would do it now as you can only get it until you are 26”. Me, naturally: “what are the side effects?”; Her “Just a sore arm for a few days”. A sore arm? Pshhh I can deal with that to save myself from possibly having CANCER, right? Now I see how naïve I was to not do ANY research.

I walk out to my doctor’s assistant to administer the shot; she warns me it’s a pretty painful shot.  I ask again “what are the side effects?” Nurse: “Maybe a rash, sore arm... that’s all”. I’m thinking, twice I have been told this is really no big deal – why am I being so apprehensive? I get the shot and oh yes it is a painful shot – the nurse says “I’ll go slow” I said “No, just get it done”. Insert. Pain. Done.

From what I’ve read now people have experienced side effects right after, I was ok until I got home. My arm was pretty sore and pulsating with pain. I had no appetite all day (I LOVE to eat), and started getting really tired despite being very much in the Holiday Spirit and excited to make & wrap presents. Then I started feeling really sad and depressed even with being very excited about a project I have going on, and generally being very happy with life. When I’m bummed out I can usually focus on what is bothering me and let it go. But I just felt miserable and lethargic. Then I started feeling like I weighed 300 pounds, I could barely walk around our apartment. I started getting really dizzy and nauseous – through all this I kept thinking “I bet if I lay down it will pass in a few hours”.

I started getting sharp pains all over my body; it was like pulsating electric shocks all over. The worst of it was sharp shocking pain from my left shoulder (where I got the shot), up to my head where I had a constant massive headache (I never get headaches), down into my chest and lungs. My lungs were getting tighter and tighter and it was getting harder to breathe. I tried to just relax, remain calm thinking “it will all pass soon”. This is where it started getting worrisome…

I had to get up to go to the bathroom that is a massive 20 feet from the couch and I couldn’t walk right. It was like I was drunk, I kept almost falling over. I had to crawl or hold onto the walls and look down to make it. I went to the bathroom and realized on the way back that the dizziness went from something I could handle to something that was nearly paralyzing my movement.

I started having my eyesight go in and out of being blurry and regular, the pains started becoming debilitating. Again, I kept thinking... this will pass. I didn’t want to take pain medicine so I could self-monitor and see if it was getting better or worse.

I was just waiting for Greg to get home… when he did he immediately started making me homemade soup thinking I was just getting sick. He is the one that started noticing that I really needed to go. When he said we need to go, I didn’t even try to fight it, I knew he was right.

At this point I needed help walking, I felt like I couldn’t form sentences and find my words right, I couldn’t hold my head up, he had to dress me and I was unable to put my left arm through my sweatshirt armhole due to the extreme pain in my left arm. The attempt made me burst out into uncontrollable tears.

I remember the  walk out to the car made me feel like I was watching a crazy music video of like some drunks or druggies walking home from the bar – as I was looking at my feet, things kept spinning and moving; my vision would get blurry then regular. It was so surreal.

The drive to the ER was so long. At this point I could barely walk, putting most of my weight on Greg. He got me a wheelchair which helped, from there we sat in the ER. They took me in to admitting did a quick EKG, I had to give a urine sample which if I was feeling more conscious would have probably been the most embarrassing thing in the world with Greg helping me throughout the process. My verbal skills were getting worse, it was a struggle to tell the nurses what was going on but I knew it was important for them to know my symptoms. EVERY SINGLE TIME that Greg or I brought up the HPV Vaccine it was just shrugged off. A lot of the ER is fuzzy; my heart felt like it was beating lines of pain throughout my body. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t talk. I couldn’t move. I was too out of it to be scared at that point.

The admitting nurse could see I was in pain, and unable to breathe and her question to Greg was “I wonder why her other arm hurts too?” He responded with:  “I’m not the fucking doctor”. After I got my blood drawn they said they would have a bed for me in 20-30 minutes. An hour goes by. An hour and a half. Two hours. Greg gets up and asks how much longer it’ll be as I am in excruciating pain and my chest is getting tighter. He gets a bullshit response. Another half hour or so passes and my hero aka my boyfriend tells them “He’s about the fucking flip out if they don’t get me in there soon, you keep telling me 20 minutes, we’ve been here almost 3 hours. How are there people walking on their own smiling going in before my girlfriend who is in a wheel chair unable to breathe? KAISER gave her this shot that is making her how she is! Now get her back there, get her back there, get her back there!” This got them to react and process me faster.

About five minutes later they suddenly had a bed for me; I remember the hospital bed felt like the most luxurious mattress in the entire world. Questions. Questions. Questions. Haze. I do remember the doctor talking to me condescendingly “Ohh we’ll get you some medicine and you’ll be ok”. Ivy in. Anti-inflammatory. Something to relax me. Helped stopped the spasms enough so I could speak better but now I was so doped up I could struggle to tell them what was going on. I kept telling Greg “They fix me now, but what about tomorrow? What if I can’t walk? It feels like they just want me to feel OK enough to get me out of here.” When Greg mentioned the many articles and sites talking about similar symptoms from this vaccine the nurse and doctors kept writing it off with a “hmm, well it’s not that” type of response. There were many different nurses & doctors throughout the night and all they came up with is that I had a Urinary Tract Infection. Although, I was not showing any of the symptoms, and when I told the nurse I never got them she rolled her eyes at me. So, If I indeed had a UTI why didn’t they give me antibiotics? Isn’t it dangerous to let a UTI go untreated?  Without knowing what was wrong with me, they seemed pretty certain I would feel better the next day.

Now here I am today. I am struggling to read & write and also with my vision. I keep writing a different word then intended, have to delete and re-write. I started writing this over 3 hours ago and I have always been an A English student. I still have to look down and use walls and objects to walk across the room. I feel like I can’t smile, I have no energy and despite finally taking some pain medicine today the pain persists. I just want to sleep. Which after I post this I will. I’m not looking for pity or anything of the sort I just want to share my experience to hopefully save someone else from this. To date there has been over 100 deaths related to the vaccine, some young healthy girls are now paralyzed, stricken with seizures, and the list goes on.  Yet no Western Medicine doctor will admit the link between the vaccine and the illnesses that have arose. Everyone regards this as some type of “miracle vaccine” I highly suggest looking at the very least the first link below. Thanks for reading.

I’d watch this first – Very Informative: http://thinktwice.com/hpv_show.htm

For more information check out: http://truthaboutgardasil.org/

Or here is another girl’s much worse account of going through this (Thanks Anna): http://www.myspace.com/audreykitching/blog/492423289

Or watch this: http://www.myspace.com/audreykitching/blog/492423289